Recently, I immersed myself in Season Two of the Dog Whisperer on DVD. It was another recommendation from my Pediatrician, who suggested that Cesar Millan's insights into dog behavior could often be carried over to raising your child. It did not take me many episodes to become a devoted fan of Millan. First and foremost is his manner. Rather than try to describe it, I direct the reader to this link where Malcom Gladwell does a far better job than I ever could. I'll just say that Cesar Millan projects something that is so engaging and reassuring that it is impossible not to be as charmed by him as the chaotic canines he encounters seem to be.
Pondering his lessons over the holidays, I came to one main revelation about my own life: I need to become my family's pack leader. Millan suggests that the behavior of your pack is the best reflection of your own stability. If you are out of balance, so too will be your pack and they will express it any number of neurotic and/or aggressive ways. Leeloo, the actual canine member of my pack, has long been a difficult dog and in recent years I've come to just let her do her own thing and lead a life separate from ours in a lot of ways. And then there is Nathaniel, who acts out in various ways as we recreate our lives since his father's departure. Suddenly, the connection between dog and child seem so obvious. So long as I'm out of balance, Nathaniel (my "pack") is going to reflect it. How Nathaniel deals with these changes we're going through is invariably linked to how I am responding to these changes.
It has become so clear to me how fully I must embrace the role of Pack Leader, from how I relate to my dog and and to my child, to being the one to see that the plumbing is working and there's food in the house. My first step on this path has been trying to redefine my relationship with Leeloo during this past week. Establishing myself in the alpha position above her has become symbolic to me of the entire process. If I can't succeed there, how can I succeed overall?
The whole task looming before me could be intimidating, but there is something comforting in understanding just how much is required of you, even if it's a lot. And even as I type this, Leeloo has come over to my chair and laid herself at my feet, a Jack London picture of loyalty. Pack Leader. I can do this.
It has become so clear to me how fully I must embrace the role of Pack Leader, from how I relate to my dog and and to my child, to being the one to see that the plumbing is working and there's food in the house. My first step on this path has been trying to redefine my relationship with Leeloo during this past week. Establishing myself in the alpha position above her has become symbolic to me of the entire process. If I can't succeed there, how can I succeed overall?
The whole task looming before me could be intimidating, but there is something comforting in understanding just how much is required of you, even if it's a lot. And even as I type this, Leeloo has come over to my chair and laid herself at my feet, a Jack London picture of loyalty. Pack Leader. I can do this.
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