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"There is most certainly a conspiracy afoot to hide the whole truth from potential new mothers. Were it not for this organized campaign, our species would run the very serious risk of losing all evolutionary viability. The Le Leche League may or may not be involved." -Government’s Investigative Committee on Parenting

#1. I LOVE MY BABY.

#2. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?

Sweet, nourishing milak. Give it me now.

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Maybe next year...

I failed with my gardening plans this year. I was going to experiment with "rock mulching" gardening and try to grow just spinach and scallions....two good shade plants since I have plenty of that. However, events conspired against me (I can blame it on that although laziness might have been more at the root) and last week I tore down even the feeble remains of Matthew's hillbilly herb garden he'd begun before leaving. Leeloo had already taken the space and used it to store the numerous dirty diapers she steals from the pail when I'm not watching. She rolls around in the diapers in Matthew's neglected garden like a mobster moll rolling around on a bed covered in 100 dollar bills. Then she eats them.

Put that kid to bed!

I recently spoke with Nathaniel's original Pediatrician from the hospital about how things are going since our family split up. It was such a great conversation and full of so many things that I don't know where to begin. It may take several posts as I process the information and apply some of his suggestions and insights.

I think to start with I'll explain how it is that I have this quiet moment to actually sit down and blog.

The Doctor wanted to know if Nathaniel slept well through the night . I assured him we didn't have any problems on that front, but then I happened to just jokingly add that things have really changed from the old days when Nathaniel would always get up WAY earlier than I wanted to and make me wake me up. Now, I'm the first one up and I have to harass him into getting out of bed. Dr. Youngblood nailed me on that immediately. "He's going to bed too late!"

He reminded me that kids need a lot of sleep and that I too would benefit by having that time alone in the evening after he goes to bed to do some things for myself.

And so here I am enjoying the multi-tasking thrill of simultaneously facebooking, gmailing, blogging and skyping :)

Pediculus humanus capitis

There is such a stigma attached to this affliction, but you find you have to quickly get over it once your three year old starts spending more time out in the world. The temptation to point a finger elsewhere is also very strong. Ohhhh, yes, he must have got it from that neighbor kid…
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And, of course, if Nathaniel has passed it on to anyone else, then he, too, is now "that neighbor kid."
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So, logically, you have to just let that kind of thinking go, buck up, and try not to take it personally when your kid is infested with lice. Getting it under control has been difficult this week in part, I think, because he now lives in two households and until we all got on the same page and coordinated our efforts, we might as well have been inviting the lice in for tea and crumpets. Actually, I'm not even 95% sure we're through this yet so knock on wood.
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On the bright side, our current ordeal inspired me to finally purchase electric hair clippers which will save money on future haircuts. The second day he was sent home for having lice, I cut it down to 3/8 inch. The THIRD day, it went down to 1/8. It's pretty challenging to cut hair that short and get it even. It's getting cold, though. I can slap a hat on his head.

Personal Landscaping

I heard on Cosmo Radio that it was important to men that a woman be "well groomed"....like as in, well, you know....a little "landscaping," so to speak. My interest piqued, I applied more effort to these ends and it did, indeed, elicit a definite interest from my husband. Okay, maybe not enough, since he moved out of the house within the month, but hey....

Now I'm a single mom.

Now I find myself left with the questionable experience of being a girly girl, pampering myself, soaking in a bath, thoroughly grooming myself, not for a man, but because I have a gynecological appointment in the morning!! Is that sad or funny? I am not sure. Think I'll go with funny....

Tide Coldwater

After reading a consumer reports article regarding laundry soap, I decided to stop buying the "cheap brand." I would always look longlingly at the Tide every time I went to the store and discovered, in Consumer Reports' data, that Tide Coldwater formula would only cost me 6 cents more per load to use. I decided this was an acceptable "splurge," particularly since I do 99% of my laundry in cold water.

Sadly, it ended up costing me $4.00 a load when Nathaniel decided to pour the ENTIRE bottle of Tide detergent into the laundry machine after I'd only gotten to use it about three times. It's just so unjust.

Where's Daddy Bear?

Nathaniel went through an interesting stage with his beloved Daddy Bear. Daddy Bear went missing for about a week and I was in a panic. It's his number one special stuffed animal. I kept looking for him and tried to not mention his name so as not to remind Nathaniel of his existence and consequentially kick off some major freak out about his disappearance.

Then, one evening, I was walking out of our bedroom and glanced over at the bookshelf by the door. There was Daddy Bear stuffed behind of display of cars. I realized then that Nathaniel had hidden him away for what reason I do not know. I can only imagine it has something to do with mine and Matthew's separation.

I left Daddy Bear there and after a couple of weeks, Nathaniel went and got him out again...obviously he'd known where the bear was the whole time. It was interesting.....

Unsolved Mysteries

It is generally accepted that girls use way more TP than boys. If so, then why does my bathroom tissue last forever now that my hubbie's moved out of the house?

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Some time ago, I bought ten adorable juice glasses at Target. I now have two left, although I never saw or heard of any of them being broken or lost. What did he do with all of my juice glasses over the years?

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I would think that the toddler in the house would create the most trash. However, since splitting with my husband, our household trash output is less than half what it was.

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A roll of paper towels lasts me two weeks or more. We used to go through two in a week. What was he using all those paper towels on?