Last May 2nd marked one year since my husband moved out. A month after the divorce was signed by the judge in March, he was all ready remarried and his new wife several months pregnant, and I will only spend one half of my child's Christmas's with him. All of that alone is enough to make my head spin, let alone the changes, learning experiences and emotions I've encountered each day of this last year. Which brings me to my point: what this blog feels like to me now.
It began, and remains, a place to chuckle and wonder over the challenges of being a new parent. Now, though, it is also a venue to explore and report on the ups and down of being a single mom. Surprisingly, there are a lot of ups. First and foremost, I had no idea how much I was capable of until I was thrown into this "pack leader" position. I'd been single before and had my own bills to pay, etc, but I'd not had a child depending on me, and a 100 year old house. and a mortgage, and no time. Ha, this is starting to sound like the down part! But it's not. It's hard to explain it without wanting to lean on cliche. I liken it sort of to having an awesome and expensive tool in your toolbox but never using it so you never even know if it works or if it was worth all that money. I feel like I've been taken out of the toolbox and put to use for the first time. A year ago, I didn't even realize that I was still in my original packaging, never yet unwrapped.
As much as I originally meant this blog as a way to update all my friends and family, I also imagined that perhaps, occasionally, some random new parent might happen to stumble upon it and that they might feel a comradarie in knowing that there are other moms and dads out there who are willing to admit they don't really know what they're doing! Now, I want to add in my mind that random single mom wandering across the page. I want to reassure her and tell her "take heart because you WILL kick ass."
It began, and remains, a place to chuckle and wonder over the challenges of being a new parent. Now, though, it is also a venue to explore and report on the ups and down of being a single mom. Surprisingly, there are a lot of ups. First and foremost, I had no idea how much I was capable of until I was thrown into this "pack leader" position. I'd been single before and had my own bills to pay, etc, but I'd not had a child depending on me, and a 100 year old house. and a mortgage, and no time. Ha, this is starting to sound like the down part! But it's not. It's hard to explain it without wanting to lean on cliche. I liken it sort of to having an awesome and expensive tool in your toolbox but never using it so you never even know if it works or if it was worth all that money. I feel like I've been taken out of the toolbox and put to use for the first time. A year ago, I didn't even realize that I was still in my original packaging, never yet unwrapped.
As much as I originally meant this blog as a way to update all my friends and family, I also imagined that perhaps, occasionally, some random new parent might happen to stumble upon it and that they might feel a comradarie in knowing that there are other moms and dads out there who are willing to admit they don't really know what they're doing! Now, I want to add in my mind that random single mom wandering across the page. I want to reassure her and tell her "take heart because you WILL kick ass."
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