On the road to Texas for the holidays, we stopped for lunch at a Chinese buffet. The loud conversaton going on at the next table was half amusing, half irritating. A woman and her husband were telling another couple about their daughter-in-law. “That woman he chose to marry is absolutely horrible! " spat the mother-in-law. "He did NOT choose well. She is the WORST." So began a long saga which continued even as we finished our own lunches and left, and even after the mother-in-law declared “Oh, but we shouldn’t ruin our lunch talking on and on about her. We should talk about something else.”
Here are some exciting highlights. Please insert hateful and pious tones where they seem necessary.
~She is so cheap. She was walking around like “la la la” when we were getting our family portraits done and she never even offered to help pay for it.
~"My son never goes to church anymore because SHE's not into it."
~"She didn't even help with our anniversary party. My daughters did everything. All she did is bring a green bean casserole."
~She filed a lien against my car! I have NEVER been so humiliated in my life. At the court house, they were like "who filed the lien? She's your daughter-in-law?!" I cold tell she was really embarrassed and she just goes
~She never says thank you. For my son's birthday I gave him a Christian book and HE was, like, " Wow, I really appreciate you and dad."
~Oh, look here. This is my Baptist Grace pen. It's my favorite pen.
~She sure holds a grudge. I'm like, hey, get over it all ready! So what if I said something "mean" to her years ago. I can't help it that I'm Christian and I think it's a sin to live together before you get married.
As we stood up to leave, I fantasized about walking up to their table on the way out and saying, "I can tell you why she doesn't help pay for your family portrait or help out with your anniversary parties. It's because SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!"
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