Webcam

Strange Buffet

On the road to Texas for the holidays, we stopped for lunch at a Chinese buffet.  The loud conversaton going on at the next table was half amusing, half irritating.   A woman and her husband were telling another couple about their daughter-in-law.  “That woman he chose to marry is absolutely horrible! " spat the mother-in-law.  "He did NOT choose well. She is the WORST." So began a long saga which continued even as we finished our own lunches and left, and even after the mother-in-law declared “Oh, but we shouldn’t ruin our lunch talking on and on about her. We should talk about something else.”

Here are some exciting highlights. Please insert hateful and pious tones where they seem necessary.

~She is so cheap. She was walking around like “la la la” when we were getting our family portraits done and she never even offered to help pay for it.

~"My son never goes to church anymore because SHE's not into it."

~"She didn't even help with our anniversary party. My daughters did everything. All she did is bring a green bean casserole."

~She filed a lien against my car! I have NEVER been so humiliated in my life. At the court house, they were like "who filed the lien? She's your daughter-in-law?!" I cold tell she was really embarrassed and she just goes "That's what they told me I had to do at the bank…" Well, after that I went ahead and paid $500 and a couple months later $500 more for that car . I haven't spoken a word to her since.

~She never says thank you. For my son's birthday I gave him a Christian book and HE was, like, " Wow, I really appreciate you and dad."

~Oh, look here. This is my Baptist Grace pen. It's my favorite pen.

~She sure holds a grudge. I'm like, hey, get over it all ready! So what if I said something "mean" to her years ago. I can't help it that I'm Christian and I think it's a sin to live together before you get married.

As we stood up to leave, I fantasized about walking up to their table on the way out and saying, "I can tell you why she doesn't help pay for your family portrait or help out with your anniversary parties. It's because SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!"

Come si, come sa

At one year’s old, Nathaniel broke himself of the bottle habit. Our only contribution to the process was our lazy inconsistency. Sometimes we’d wash a bottle for him, sometimes we’d give him a sippy cup. The same laissez faire attitude was attached to his pacifier, another habit he broke himself of. I suspect there is no “one right way” for all children, but this “come si, come sa” approach has seemed to work with him. Potty training is moving slowly forward using a similar method…great praise when he uses the potty, but no pressure and no big deal when he doesn’t. “Whatever!”

But, will this lazy parenting style work for eliminating bedtime resistance and “nocturnal visits”? I confess I am a-feared. Consistency is impossible because most nights I love falling asleep with him, or having him snuggle the night through with us. Of course, this leaves me out of luck those times that I need more elbow room or when I want him to go to sleep alone because I have things to do later in the evening.

Sometimes he sleeps all night in his own bed. Can I just wait him out until he “trains himself” to mostly stay in his own bed with just occasional visits to us? Or maybe we should just get a bigger bed…

Baby Christopher Walken

So Nathaniel woke up this morning and, completely out of nowhere, he was talking like Christopher Walken. He did it all day. This is what I was able to capture on video of it.

To the AFA

Dear American Family Association, et al:

Please stop wasting your resources boycotting Harry Potter. This suggestion is meant only as a helpful and practical suggestion from a real life mother.

You see, I am not really afraid that my son will grow up and decide to run away to Hogwart's to learn how to be a wizard. What I'm worried about is that my child might come to think that it's funny and appropriate to burp and break wind while eating out at a public dining establishment.

Please start boycotting movies that include characters burping or breaking wind in the guise of humor. That is more likely to negatively impact my child than Hogwart's.

If you really care about family values, then you must agree that manners and politeness are paramount. Do not allow these pornographies of personal functions to continue uncensored. Anything less from you is interpreted by me as complete hypocrisy.

Pineapple epiphany

I was surprised to discover the baby likes fresh pineapple. Although, it has to be said that this pineapple was exceptionally spectacular. It was the first produce I have ever purchased intentionally because "in season." It makes sense, of course, that a fruit would taste better in season and some say it's even better for you. My problem has always been that I have absolutely no idea what's in season when. Do most people just know this?

Well, I finally got smart and copied a list from the internet. As I prepared my shopping list for this week, I looked at the list and added pineapple. It was amazing how good it was and surely this ripe and juicy sweetness is what won the baby over. Had I tried to feed him pineapple in February, he would probably have attacked me with the pointy crown of the fruit. I am now a total seasonal convert.

Little Nathaniel's "little Nathaniel"

Standing there contemplating what to say in response to baby's question "Wha' dat?" as he pointed curiously at my uncovered bosom, I realized that I was at the beginning of a new and unpleasant stage in toddler development. On that day, I got out of it pretty easily by explaining that that was mommy's "chest." Generic, accurate, and completely unembarressing to say. But what about the harder things to come?

To me, "penis" and "vagina" sound like dirty words so count me out of the league of medically correct parents. I recently suggested the euphemism "thingie" to my husband, but he vetoed, suggesting the word carried with it some implication of shame. I agreed he had a point.

For the moment, I am at a complete loss and have the distinct feeling that I'm definitely running out of time.......

Buddhism for Babies?

Yeah, I know. I must be crazy. Teach a two year old to meditate? Where do I get these ideas? The problem is, I just know how! Needless to say, there's not a lot of info out there on Buddhist meditation for two-year-olds. Tonight was my first attempt, and here is how it went down.

Baby was whining because I wouldn't let him watch the "teetee" (ie television). So, I asked him if he wanted to meditate. He readily agreed, having no idea what I was talking about. He probably thought "meditate" was the name of a new Teletubbies episode. Next, I went on line to find a Buddhist chant. I don't think I can start him off with the subtle concept of simply sitting still quieting his mind. I'm thinking I should start him with a chant and let him learn how to be still and focus on that.

I'll cut to the chase...he did NOT sit still and get into chanting with me. Yet, the results were still kind of fun and interesting. I found an audio of the Buddhist chant Sabbe satte suhki huntu (may all living things have peace) and as it played he almost immediately stopped fussing. He started laughing and being playfully mischievous.

I sang the chant off and on for the next hour before bedtime and he quickly picked up the first word of it and sings it. So, I'm going to keep trying. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open!